10 Reasons Why We Should Be Hermiones, Not Bellas

By Ruth Horsfall

As seen in Wom*news #10: Cliterature


  1. Hermione Granger does not define her worth by having a boyfriend, and generally for the most part, she is all ‘ugh, boys – why are you so dumb?’. On the other hand, Bella Swan’s life revolves around her relationship with Edward Cullen; she will not fault him, nor make herself aware of his myriad of faults, like his attachment issues and scary, cold penis.


  1. Hermione shows us that if you do have a great beau, but if that relationships falters or ends, your life does not end too; because while it is a part of you, it does not become your whole being. When Ron leaves Hermione, she continues to work her butt off to save ALL OF WIZARDKIND. When Edward leaves her, Bella spends three months curled up in the foetal position, refusing to interact with anyone and promptly jumps off a cliff.


  1. Hermione is an immeasurably good friend. Bella looks vaguely disinterested with anyone who tries to hang out with her at school and elicit basic conversation. The only friendship she desires is with a family of people, within whom one of them permanently wants to kill her, one visibly despises her and one makes creepy jokes about her and Edward having sex.


  1. Hermione suffers no fools – but while she is dismissive of people she perceives to be idiots, she is also big enough to admit she was wrong; she will always stand up for herself and others. Bella Swan has the personality of a damp tissue.


  1. Hermione is proud of who she is. She is proud of her intelligence, even though people call her nerdy. She is proud of her heritage and her parents, even though it means she is actively insulted and discriminated against. And she doesn’t talk herself down. Bella Swan is a poster girl for low self esteem.


  1. Hermione refuses to be controlled or lectured by anyone in her life, let alone a boyfriend (eg Krum). Bella is apparently cool with Edward entering her house and watching her sleep and stopping her going places. Hermione would physically end anyone entering her room to watch her sleep.


  1. Hermione has goals and dreams; she knows she wants to make a difference in society and that how people see her has no bearing on that. Bella wants to be….undead? A vampire wife? We don’t know because Bella never talks about it.


  1. Hermione loves Ron for who he is and is accepting of his flaws. But she does not let him get away with being unfairly critical, or judging people based on their looks, or generally being a douchecanoe. She teaches him girls are not objects. Bella makes it perfectly clear she is happy to be treated like an object and accepts Edward unquestioningly, despite his plethora of disturbing traits.


  1. Despite being part of a marginalised group of people (Mudbloods), Hermione tirelessly works to liberate others more discriminated against than her (SPEW 4 lyf). Bella considers the human state abhorrent and completely undesirable compared to being a vampire, despite the fact they as a group kill innocent animals in cold blood and take advantage of humans.


  1. Hermione does not use one thing in her life as an excuse to fuck everything else off. Even though she has the gift of magic, she still knows it’s important to retain ‘human’ skills such as logic. Bella decides all she wants to do is become a vampire, and everything else can eat it, including her family.

~ Ruth Horsfall


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